The Humble Pint

A pint may be defined as a measurement of liquid, but we all understand it represents so much more.

Sharing a pint is not about the mutual experience of drinking barley, it’s about the excuse to sit together and disect the world, be that the wider scope of bickering nations or what goes on between the rooms within your very house. We can’t ask an acquaintance if they’d like to sit in the corner of a room of other conversing people and share their thoughts on their life, others’ lives, divulge their emotions on a variety of topics, share secrets they shouldn’t, debate the utterly futile, increase the bonds of buddydom, and then part with a hug and over the top declarations of feelings for each other; all with the added proviso that should anybody stray too far in their behaviour then it will be forgiven because we were having a moment. But you can say, ‘fancy a pint’?

For a nation that struggles to pour our emotions and true thoughts forth, the social lubrication of a pint is key to holding this farce of society together. Without it, divorces would rocket, marriages would never even begin, friendships would no longer be forged, we’d retreat to our own worlds and stay there, alone, only conversing through pictures on social media of the house we’re sat in, because there was no reason to go out and scream down the lens of a camera, in large, stumbling groups.

So pubs of our nation, in note of this, please reconsider the increasingly standard four pound pint. You are not only killing your business, but you’re massaging the heart of our country to a standstill, and destroying everything we built this great, but socially meek, land upon.

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